One of the few shows about New York City that doesn’t paint (see that pun there?) everyone in it to look like a total tool bag is, as you should already know, Broad City. The hyper-surreal yet simultaneously so real plotlines centered around Abbi Abrams (Abbi Jacobson) and Ilana Wexler (Ilana Glazer)’s day-to-day existence simply getting by is enough to make you think this shit hole is all worth it.

Mural painting requires the help of the dickful

And so, when they ask you to help them paint a mural–even if it’s at one of the worst places in Williamsburg, Kinfolk–you fucking do it. Furthermore, if you’re a “man” of any substance who holds no regard for the negative theories of the rom-com, you should well have the gumption to ask one or both of them to marry you. They’re the best clientele you’re ever going to find lurking the streets near Brooklyn Bowl, and you’re not likely to see them again. Fuck, even if you’re a woman you should make a grand leap toward locking them down. Then you can also play the gay card whenever you want.