Watching a show with a new romantic interest is always something of a big deal, a strong indicator of the turn for seriousness and intimacy things are taking. Sitting with someone in a confined space for multiple hours is, after all, something you’re usually paid to do (see: office worker). That’s why one must be very careful about what he chooses to absorb with his femme de la semaine. Anything from the Criterion Collection is absolutely out of the question as it will be too tailored and memorable–plus, who are you kidding? She knows you don’t give a fuck about high art cinema.

Something too low-brow, however, like Rick & Morty, could send her running in the other direction. No, no–the best thing you can put on is something totally middle ground and universally loved. At least until you’re sure you’re going to be banging on the reg for more than just a couple months (usually the cutoff before the ghosting period begins). For some reason, certain “men” can’t seem to understand that Broad City is an ideal starter kit for dipping your toe into the TV viewing realm with a fresh body–somehow assuming that the girl they were formerly with’s “super quirky!” status makes her special enough to be the only goddamn dame who watches it. As if. The Broad City viewing clientele is a dime (and dame) a dozen. And the “man” who somehow thinks it’s hallowed or sacred viewing material from his previous “serious” relationship best stick to watching Modern fucking Family with this kind of deluded viewpoint. What’s more, we all know Ilana is a fairy godmother of instilling horniness.