Part of the many pratfalls of the “millennial” generation is the pervasiveness of “men” unable to do much of anything beyond press buttons that are, alas, not in any way related to a woman’s pussy. Sure, he’s great at finding ways out of doing anything tangible (which is an art that should not be underrated), but when it comes down to accomplishing a truly difficult or meaningful task on “his own,” a woman is usually required.

What most “men” need in order to function

Whether this stems from being handicapped by his mother as a child and constantly told he was great simply for being her son or perhaps because he grew up amid a large group of older, “nurturing” sisters is irrelevant. The point is, he has now reached a stage in life where he should be classified as a “man,” yet cannot even manage to adequately dress up a Cup O’ Noodles (technically called Cup Noodles). He is a giant, festering baby, who probably has, if any dick at all, one that could be classified as “Velveeta dick” (you know, featuring a head that’s caked on with a powdery texture) from a lack of even being able to properly clean it himself.