I don’t really know where rom-coms got the notion that a “man” would ever be capable of “just staying in bed” and “cuddling” after spending the night a.k.a. fucking a woman. It’s not in a “man’s” genetic makeup to simply lie there staring at the ceiling. Sure, a woman can because all she’s doing is basking in the post-coital pheromones. But a “man”? All he’s thinking about is where to go next and possibly if he should get something to eat on the way.

You’re so busy

This strange freneticness “men” have seems in contrast to their general lack of accomplishment, particularly those of the Williamsburg strain. All they appear to do is “make deals” and “watch the money roll in” as they drink at overpriced bars and hit on under-personalitied women. In general, when someone is incapable of staying still, it is due to an unquiet mind, possibly in this case made restless by trying to stave off the unavoidable thoughts about how absent his dick is. We’re not asking for a weed-smoking couchsitter, but shit, at least someone that can spoon you for more than three minutes without getting bored.