Men You’re In A Relationship With Who Tell You To Engage In Sex Dealios With Others While Traveling.

In these “modern times,” one supposes it’s only natural for a girlfriend and a boyfriend to separate more regularly. It’s only… what’s that word?–healthy. That two people should live independently of one another, not risk becoming so enmeshed; you know, in preparation for the inevitable breakup. Maybe that’s why so many couples are comfortable with taking solo trips these days in spite of being “together.” It helps keep their material fresh, their heart grow fonder in absence. That is, unless the “man” a woman is with encourages her to engage in sex dealios with others while she’s on her journey and perhaps feeling particularly lonely. After all, any woman who wants to fuck more than once a week is a nympho during this anti-libidinous epoch.

So of course she should be feeling lonely, a bit needful on her separate journey from her so-called boyfriend. Thus, because polyamory is just another indication of how lazy and non-committal millennials are, he will think he’s being oh so evolved and generous in suggesting that she ought to find her sexual release with another. And maybe even he will do the same, should he feel so inclined and if he can manage to tear himself away from quietly masturbating in his hostel bed. Sadly, when the girl decides to take him up on his offer in the hope that he’ll actually care, she’ll find that not only does he not, but he also decided to extend his trip indefinitely. And so go “relationships” of the “mature” variety in the twenty-first century.

Men Who Pretend to Send You Custom Content While on Vacation and Then You See It On Social Media.

It’s bad enough when a “man” (usually white and privileged) decides to go on a vacation to, like, find himself or whatever/convince himself there’s more to life than white privilege. But even worse than this is when he placates his absence from your life by sending you images and videos that you are initially led to believe are custom, only to later see them on various social media outlets.

If the voyaging “man” in question truly gave a fig about you–and the fact that he’s traveling without you–he would eagerly choose to personalize the curation of his experience. But no, generally speaking, these overpriced vision quests are, memory capturing-wise, adapted to no one in particular–which you’ll soon find out after opening a text message you think has some special meaning for you, only to see it moments later broadcast to everyone else. At this point you’ll start to wish he’d stay on his journey permanently and stop sending you faux tailored imagery. But they always come back. Because, in addition to wanting to showcase the trip visually, they’ll also want to bloviate about it to you in person. But don’t think the raconteur isn’t going to tell his stock stories to everyone else upon his return, too.

Men Who Don’t Wait For You When You’re Traveling Together.

Traveling with a “man” is more complex than most give the act credit for. Because “men” are deemed to be easy and breezy when it comes to everything, no one considers that this stereotype leaves ample room for insensitivity toward a traveling partner that requires more shit (also known as a woman).

Because of all the shit women wear that's liable to make the metal detector go off, they're also more likely to get felt up by the TSA

Because of all the shit women wear that’s liable to make the metal detector go off, they’re also more likely to get felt up by the TSA

Not only does a woman need more suitcases and provisions in order to make herself continue to look like a woman while on the go, but she is also more likely to get harangued by the TSA due to the piece of jewelry or the belt or the jewel-encrusted panties she’ll inevitably forget to take off. Nonetheless, this does not legitimize a “man” going on his merry way after he’s completed the security checkpoint or customs process. Why bother traveling with another person if you just gon’ act like you alone? I know you can travel anytime you want because you’re living on that Williamsburg salary, but that doesn’t mean your piece of the moment can enjoy it as often as you do, you rich, selfish fuck.