the wythe hotel

Men Who Begrudgingly Engage in Chivalry.

September 18, 2014 — Leave a comment

You would think there’s nothing worse than a “man” who refuses to engage in any form of chivalrous act, but alas, there is: The “man” who overtly engages in chivalry with a look of sheer reluctance and disgust in his eyes. You’ve seen it. The one who gets to the door of the Wythe entrance first, sees you approaching, rolls his eyes, quickly forces a smile and assures, “After you.”

No "man" can bear to hearken back to the Victorian-era custom of throwing his cape over a puddle so a woman can cross

No “man” can bear to hearken back to the Victorian-era custom of throwing his cape over a puddle so a woman can cross


Sure, women expect to enjoy their own independence, self-sufficiency and all that shit, but they don’t want the sort of “man” who exhibits a total lack of valiance to such an extent that it is telling of utter selfishness. It infers he’s probably not very generous toward the vag area either. So the next time you hesitantly pay for food at Extra Fancy or walk at the same pace as the woman you’re with regardless of how slow she’s moving because of her heels, just know that genuine chivalry is the mark of a truly dickful man.

Men Who Book Hotel Rooms at The Wythe.

September 8, 2014 — 4 Comments

Perhaps when you’re a “man” trying to pull out all the stops for the mistress you’re trying to finagle, booking a room at The Wythe seems like the height of sophistication–a grand way to impress someone who hasn’t been around the Williamsburg block. And maybe, if your woman of choice is anything like you, she would be impressed by the custom made furniture and wallpaper or the lack of room service or the “locally sourced” mini bar.

That don't impress her much

That don’t impress her much

But if you’re trying to impress a woman who knows a “man” with a dick from one without, you’re going to have to do much better. The Wythe is for commoners aspiring to be nouveau riche, peppered with the occasional celebrity in an attempt to make it seems like it bears even a remote resemblance to the Chateau Marmont. If you really want to make a statement that says, “I care,” opt for the Ty Warner Penthouse at the Four Seasons.