It might have been romantic–even “edgy”–to get a “Love Will Tear Us Apart” tattoo when the song first came out in 1980 and held a meaning that wasn’t overly commodified by the abstract noun “hipster.” But in 2017, seeing a “man” sporting this Ian Curtis aphorism (especially if it’s situated right above his heart) is nothing if not an indication of just how little he cares for anyone but himself. The tattoo is not an expression of his sadness over a love lost or his genuine belief that l’amour causes nothing but heartache. It is a method of luring in naive pussy.
Because yes, a certain type of girl will find it charming that a “man” has emblazoned this mantra on his skin–a sign of tenderness and passion. But the only thing the lyric signifies in tattoo form is a tender dick and passionless mind. He is a phony baloney with no concept of just how fucking much it pains to experience attachment of any kind. He can let go in a way Ian Curtis never could–which is, in part, why he had to commit suicide, being unable to choose between two women and all. The “man” with the immortal quote on his body, however, is likely to live a very long life sustained on his egoism and falseness alone.
It’s true, most “men” of the North Brooklyn variety are either jobless or living on daddy’s dime and must accordingly take advantage of specials on services they don’t really need whenever they can. Even so, the “man” who capitalizes on the Friday the 13th tattoo smacks of a particularly cheap and inky odor. It’s bad enough that they’re probably already the type to have color tattoos. Compounded with a lust for needle dragging that costs $30 from the sort of rinky dink shittaytay that would offer such a price point, the “man” sporting a Friday the 13th tattoo in color is to be neither feared nor revered.
While some shops have improved the menu of designs offered, it’s more or less always going to be a skull, the number 13, a devil’s head or some other unwanted depiction with blood on it. And a girl must ask herself: do I really want to let a “man” with a one-day only relevant tattoo to enter my body?
Sometimes, it’s hard to know which is worse: a “man’s” obsession with his father or with his mother. But, for the most part, the most frequently used expression of love for a parent veers toward the maternal side when it comes to inked form.
Not only is the use of the standard issued heart with the capital letters “M O M” a sign that you as a woman with needs for a “man” who has, what psychologists call individuated, should run the other direction, but also one that he is disgustingly attached to his matriarch.
Whether she’s dead or alive, the tattoo homage is a definite indication that the only woman in his life who he’ll ever care about is Mama, and you ain’t gonna be able to hold no candle to that. You should let your candle burn for someone else, preferably a “man” with a tattoo that shows commitment to a single city, so you know he doesn’t like to travel and he’ll never leave you.
While it’s not really acceptable for any gender to have a color tattoo, it’s particularly egregious when a “man” cultivates this aesthetic. A woman is more capable of getting away with it, because at least her skin is smooth and hairless enough to make the look of color appear less jank. A “man,” on the other hand, simply looks like he’s walking around with blobs of amorphous ink on his body.
Sex appeal diminished
A “man’s” decision to choose color over black and white naturally signals some sort of dickless tendencies, as most “men” worth their weight in masculinity would not require the pomp and circumstance of a tattoo with a colorful flourish. In the case for machismo, it has to be said that black and white is all there is. Especially if the “man” in question is getting a flower tattoo.