Men Who Update Their Facebook Statuses With the Color Box.

Like hashtags, abbreviated words (“nvm,” “txt,” “l8tr,” etc.) and Donald Trump’s presidential campaign, the color box status update on Facebook is something that seemingly came out of nowhere, an entity with origins too unclear to trace. But what’s even more unclear than this is why “men” so especially favor using this means to express themselves on social media, to update us all of their general “amazingness” a.k.a. complete and utter dicklessness.

The most banal of statements, like “Wrote an email to my landlord,” cannot be masked or made more interesting by the presence of bold, vibrant colors. And isn’t this the probable intent of the color boxes on Facebook? To make others believe you’re living out loud via the distraction of bombastic chroma. But no hue from the color wheel can conceal the truth about you, “man”: you’re an irrevocable asshole with nothing going on in your life other than the not so unique ability to regurgitate quotes or give a cut and dried account of all the meaninglessness in your life.