It’s bad enough when a “man” (usually white and privileged) decides to go on a vacation to, like, find himself or whatever/convince himself there’s more to life than white privilege. But even worse than this is when he placates his absence from your life by sending you images and videos that you are initially led to believe are custom, only to later see them on various social media outlets.

If the voyaging “man” in question truly gave a fig about you–and the fact that he’s traveling without you–he would eagerly choose to personalize the curation of his experience. But no, generally speaking, these overpriced vision quests are, memory capturing-wise, adapted to no one in particular–which you’ll soon find out after opening a text message you think has some special meaning for you, only to see it moments later broadcast to everyone else. At this point you’ll start to wish he’d stay on his journey permanently and stop sending you faux tailored imagery. But they always come back. Because, in addition to wanting to showcase the trip visually, they’ll also want to bloviate about it to you in person. But don’t think the raconteur isn’t going to tell his stock stories to everyone else upon his return, too.