smoking

Men Who Pretend to Kill For Cigarettes.

September 3, 2015 — Leave a comment

Although it’s understandable that, with the average cigarette pack price being 14 dollars in NYC, one might be inclined to kill for just a drag, there is something rather gauche about a “man” who points a fake gun at another who refuses him a cigarette. If it were a real gun, then it might be construed as badass.

And that you should stop pretending to kill for cigarettes

And that you should stop pretending to kill for cigarettes

However, since it wasn’t and the “man” was sitting at a bus stop when he did it, there is nothing roguish about it. On the other hand, the “man” who refused the cigarette has his own share in the dicklessness of this incident, as how stingy do you have to be to deny another nicotine-fiender his fix? All around, this incident bears the mark of classic Williamsburg in its Missing A Dickness.

Men Who Over-Smoke on 4/20.

April 21, 2015 — Leave a comment

Alright, so by now we all know that 4/20 is like a way important national holiday or whatever and needs to be honored by select Travis Birkenstock types who can’t just smoke on normal days like a proper stoner. With this being accepted, what one cannot abide is the “man” who takes it too far and gets so blunted he’s goddamn comatose.

Travis Birkenstock, stoner god

Travis Birkenstock, stoner god

As Cher Horowitz would say, “It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day.” And while, sure, this is the entire point of 4/20, have at least an iota of self-control. You’re a Williamsburg denizen for fuck’s sake. Act like you have the perceived class that goes with it. Weed is, after all, a plebe’s drug. At least spring for something designer, namely amphetamines–Jordan Belfort-style.