Men Who Comment On the Hotness of Your Relatives or Friends When They’re Supposed to Be Into You.

Regardless of whether or not you’ve managed to lock down a “man,” this so-called security will not, in any way, prevent him from commenting on the hotness of others–least of all your friends and family members.

You know Jay-Z thought Solange was hot before she clocked him in the elevator

You know Jay-Z thought Solange was hot before she clocked him in the elevator

This is often why it’s best to pretend you don’t even have a family for awhile, or even forever. You should also turn into a loner if you possess any friends without unsightly facial moles. It keeps the romantic notions you have of your “man” alive, and prevents him from being in the dickless position of remarking how attractive your sister, cousin or, worst of all, mom is.

Men Who Date Women Who Look Like Their Sister.

So, incest is pretty weird and socially unacceptable. I guess that’s why the next best thing is dating someone who looks like your sister. It’s fairly easy to find a girl who looks like you in Williamsburg, since homogeneity is one of the qualities the neighborhood now prides itself on. However, why not try going the extra mile by finding someone who deviates from your particular aesthetic?

Angelina Jolie and her similarly strung out looking brother

Angelina Jolie and her similarly strung out looking brother


Often times when you’re trolling, you probably don’t even consciously realize that you’re seeking someone who looks like your sister. These thoughts are just far too unpleasant to consider. But next time you’re eyeing someone with the same exact coloring and bone structure, think about 1) how gross you are and 2) how vain you are. It will help you grow some of your nub back.