The relationship between secular buildings and churches has become a strong one of late, what with the potential for converting them into condos. The latest case is an edifice owned by Saint Peter and Paul Church, which has stipulated as a clause in their lease that in order to live in the building, tenants must refrain from “non-Catholic activities.”

What Jesus would do

A non-Catholic activity, of course, includes stem cell research, taking birth control, having an abortion, watching porn and partaking in euthanasia (giving or receiving, I assume). That’s right, most Brooklynites’ favorite things are banned from their existence if they want to live in this prime spot on Wythe Avenue and South 2nd Street. As a “man,” opting to live there would definitely rule out getting evicted for abortions and birth control use, but it would allow the further castration of your genitals for sure. As Missy Elliott once asked, “Is it worth it?”