Men Who Play Burgopoly.

In the hipster haven of Williamsburg, playing “old school” board games like Monopoly is a natural par for the course when wanting to recapture the experience of youth. However, a certain “man” has taken it to the next level with the creation of a Williamsburg-specific sort of Monopoly called, oh so originally, Burgopoly.

Play at your own risk of losing a dick

Play at your own risk of losing a dick

Rife with references that only a Williamsburg renter (and therefore overpaid “man” who wanted to move to the neighborhood to feel vaguely in touch with a “fun” environment other than his office), Burgopoly allows “men” that rare opportunity to buy entities like the Berry Street Lofts and Smorgasburg. Because why not put your one-sided pursuits for more money to good use in the form of a so-called hobby?

 

Men Who Shell Out 40 Million Dollars for Real Estate.

Not that I could ever know what it’s like to have money or how business works (which is why I’ll never know what it’s like to have money), but it seems to me that spending forty million dollars on a real estate deal is a little excessive in the missing a dick category. If you have forty million dollars you should use it for something good, like traveling or designer labels–not fucking real estate deals that further decimate a neighborhood.

Dunkin' Donuts is part of a 40 million dollar building. Seems really worth it.

Dunkin’ Donuts is part of a 40 million dollar building. Seems really worth it.


What this building will be transformed into remains to be seen (though a Dunkin’ Donuts was already there to begin with), but whatever it is will obviously not be worth the money plunked down to make it into [insert shitty brand here]. Not even if it was a store that contained Donatella Versace in an all-white room reading your tarot.