Writing for VICE is all very impressive when you’re trying to be impressive, but there are some “men” who take it just a little to the extreme. They can’t get through a goddamn sentence without mentioning the latest news piece from the publication–especially if they wrote it.
“I just wrote a fantastic piece for VICE about how masturbating is more intellectual than physical.”
For dickless men, there’s nothing more satisfying than being able to tell a girl that he’s “appeared” in VICE. Apart from living in one of those grotesque condos near the waterfront, it’s about the surest way to get a girl to sleep with you. It’s only afterward that she realizes you’ve merely pitched to VICE that she regrets her decision.
Reading has seen a resurgence in popularity, what with the novelty of bookstores like Spoonbill and Sugartown showcased on the Williamsburg/Greenpoint monstrosity Girls (you’re missing a dick if you’ve seen it). That being said, many men think it’s okay to 1) Simply read a book that’s not literary but “how to” oriented and 2) That reading a book on how to do something is actually going to teach you how to do it.
Ancient hipster reading.
At Missing a Dick, we believe it’s important for men to understand that you should be reading real literature and that if you genuinely want to learn a trade, like blacksmithing, you should just fucking do it–hands on, balls out (’cause Christ knows you ain’t got a dick). A book cannot help you unless it’s a story about Vikings or eighteenth century courtiers.