Men Who Are Too Dainty to Handle The Sight of a Disrobed Madonna in Her Prime (Michael Jackson).

Ceaseless jibes at Madonna’s age and manipulated body aside, one must admit that in the early 90s, she was in her prime in every way: physically, career-wise (“Vogue,” darling, “Vogue”) and in showcasing her cutting sense of humor (see: Truth or Dare). And while Michael Jackson’s sexuality had always been “a” at best and perilous at worst (where there’s smoke there’s fire with them child molestation rumors), it seems just slightly cuckoo that Madonna would be able to “scare him off women” for good.

Try as she might to loosen Miguel up a little, to make him see that the King and Queen of Pop ought at least to be able to say they slept together once for icon posterity, the dainty child trapped inside a “man’s” body simply couldn’t react in any other way than with sheer terror at the sight of Madonna naked in his boudoir. And yet, in many respects, Michael’s actions mirror those of any average “male,” too intimidated and therefore repulsed by a woman both powerful, beautiful and appetitive of sex to engage her.

 

 

 

 

Men Who Can Only Cum Via Self-Love.

With the sexlessness that continues to pervade the current era, “men” seem to have more and more difficulty with actually cumming inside a woman as opposed to outside of one and by themselves. Perhaps it’s the pressure and the stress of being viewed as an evermore useless gender, or simply that “men” have no idea what to do with a vagine anymore.

The reason, like so many things about “men,” is elusive, and not necessarily a reflection of the woman so much as the bloke in her bed’s irksome psychosis and propensity toward asexuality (think: Andy Warhol and Michael Jackson). Although, as always, sheer narcissism could be at play. His need to beat the meat by himself–or worse, in front of her–in order to cum is not only tantamount to staring at a locked refrigerator while hungry, but also an extreme insult to the capabilities of a pussy.

However, as “men” delve deeper into the depths of the epicene, it’s likely that self-love will indeed be the wave of the future–the norm, if you will. And if “men” are only giving it up to themselves, it means women in the “straight world” will be forced to do the same.