Men Who Feign Caring About the Women’s March in Order to Mask Their Sociopathy and/or in the Hope of Grabbing Pussy.

Enough hours have passed since the start of January 21st’s historic protests throughout the nation, and one has seen the gamut of social media depictions of the Women’s March in both New York City and D.C. at this point. That being said, of all the many candids showcased, there are two instances of dick missing that can be easily parsed out. The first, of course, is the “men” in the crowd with leering and lascivious looks on their faces indicating either 1) they’ve been hired by some Trump juggernaut to kill the opposition or 2) they’re on the hunt for impassioned women whose passion they hope translates in bed.

The second type of “man” sans dique at the Women’s March is the one who isn’t really there, but instead simply posts found pictures from other people’s experience and passes it off as his own. Or worse, actually pops in to the Women’s March for a hot second to prove he cares, then dips out just as quickly as he came (this is also a nod to the likely fact that he’s a premature ejaculator). This is the sociopath-type “male,” the one who wants to appear empathetic enough on the surface to still secure some pussy in the future, even though the intelligent woman protesting can see through his veneer just as quickly as he saw with X-ray like vision through her clothes.

Men Who Use Inaug Day As An Excuse to Get Blottototototo.

Believe it or not, sobriety is now more than ever a necessity. The natural inclination on this most horrendously momentous of inauguration days is to turn on, tune in and drop out by any means necessary. And yet, how can one have the clarity of mind needed to mastermind the thwarting of power when he’s three to six sheets to the wind?

While women often function better on substances (birth control [RIP], marijuana, alcohol, etc.), “men” do not. These fuckers barely function sober, and should therefore not be using Trump’s ascension to a purchased throne as a reason to justify their acceptance of fuckery. Because, yes, while getting blotto is often the most affordable and accessible form of therapy, it is also the quickest admission of defeat. Now excuse me while I go to the bar.