Men (Straight) Who Think They Have the Monopoly on Loving Halloween Over Other Men (Drag Queens).

There are just scores of straight “men” who love to lay claim to a year-round relishment of Halloween, and declare that you, too, can enjoy it as much as they do any day of the year. And yet, for those who have any familiarity with a certain drag icon named Sharon Needles (or familiarity with drag queens in general), it makes us wonder if these “men” are not aware of any bombast outside of the straight world. And if they are, do they choose simply to ignore any sect that isn’t their own? Well, it wouldn’t surprise one, considering how insular and oblivious the “heteros” are.

Hence, their declarations about fucking Halloween up the asshole with zeal are, to them, truly pure and genuine, as though drag queens don’t dress up in costume literally every damn day. Where’s the credit for that, huh? The unbridled commitment to everything Halloween stands for–entertainment, drinking and disguise–is exhibited by the drag community. Not little bitch “boy” blancos who don’t even put effort into their costume, instead relying on a supposed enthusiasm for horror movies as their crutch. But as Sharon Needles said, “You think this is a fucking costume? It’s a way of life.” And a way of life isn’t something you merely talk about once a year, assholio. So to the “straights” out there claiming Halloween passion, stick to what you know best: disappointing and abandoning.

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Men Who Don’t Dress Up For Halloween.

It used to be you couldn’t beat off the costume wearers with a stick in this town. But this year it seems as though a remarkable sea change has occurred in that there is a visible reluctance on most “men’s” part to don a get-up of some sort that indicates he gives two shits about that wondrous holiday, Halloween (see: the “man” who simply throws on a red sweater and a name tag that says Ken, as in Bone).

Maybe this development has been a result of irony overload–that “too cool” pandemic that has rendered most everyone a robotic naysayer. Whatever the reason, ain’t no one donning on their freakiest apparel anymore. It’s all just, like everything else, too much work. And Christ knows the words “effort” and “potential embarrassment” are extremely offputting to most “men” of the North Brooklyn area and twenty-first century era. So if you manage to lock eyes with a “man” at a costume party who is wearing more than merely a beanie, jeans and a band tee, you might just be dealing with someone who has a dick.