Men Who Take Fashion Cues from Adam Driver.

We get it. Adam Driver is the spokes”man” for Williamsburg. As one of the few regular “males” on Girls (though most of the girls on said show are more masculine), it’s only natural he would rise to prominence for his “look.” I suppose that’s why it’s difficult for some to understand that mimicking his style is a classically dickless move. 

Inexpressive fashion.

Inexpressive fashion.

Driver’s general uniform–a solid color or graphic t-shirt or tank–is not only tired, but utterly uninspired. To wear crew necks and graphic tees and assorted denim is not only egregiously basic, but also says, “I must dress this way to hide that I don’t have a dick.” You’d be better off sporting paisley pants and a velvet blazer. At least it would show some courage. If you really want to take a fashion tip from a man, look to Mick Jagger and Keith Richards in Gimme Shelter.

Men Who Read About Doing Things Instead of Actually Doing Them.

Reading has seen a resurgence in popularity, what with the novelty of bookstores like Spoonbill and Sugartown showcased on the Williamsburg/Greenpoint monstrosity Girls (you’re missing a dick if you’ve seen it). That being said, many men think it’s okay to 1) Simply read a book that’s not literary but “how to” oriented and 2) That reading a book on how to do something is actually going to teach you how to do it.

Ancient hipster reading.

Ancient hipster reading.

At Missing a Dick, we believe it’s important for men to understand that you should be reading real literature and that if you genuinely want to learn a trade, like blacksmithing, you should just fucking do it–hands on, balls out (’cause Christ knows you ain’t got a dick). A book cannot help you unless it’s a story about Vikings or eighteenth century courtiers.