Men Who Make Lists.

The entire reason to make a list is to classify, to rank–in short, to waste your time on building an opinion that no one else cares about. While women occasionally do this (usually when trying to build the archetype for their perfect fiancĂ©), it is more often than not “men” who enjoy arranging people and things in a chronological manner according to importance.

Lists are bound to wound

Lists are bound to wound

One conjures to mind “The One With the List” episode of Friends wherein Ross creates a document on Chandler’s new computer (telling of the decade) of things that are wrong with Rachel in order to decide if he should break up with his current girlfriend. Rightly, the list loses him Rachel’s affection and we’re doomed to watch the show for another eight seasons. The moral, of course, being that it is an extremely “male” thing to try to gauge what “the best” is. Others of a more dickful nature aren’t as apt to classify. It’s the more democratic (and socialist) thing to do.

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Men Who Have A “Bag” a.k.a. Purse To Steal

A recent rash of robberies at Williamsburg bars by a thief targeting unattended bags leaves one to automatically to assume that the victims were women. However, one description does not specifically state that the person whose “bag” was stolen was a female, leading one to deduce that, in fact, he was a “man.”

No, this does not "work"

No, this does not “work”


Because this isn’t Europe, “man bags” have never been passable, in spite of the ever-lax gender roles offered by the twenty-first century. To be frank, a “man” with a “bag” deserves to have it stolen. Because not only is it a crime against fashion, but a crime against your dick to have one. A backpack is maybe acceptable, but a “bag,” never. Just ask Joey Tribbiani.