Men Who Are “Feminists.”

Who would have thought that in the era of Trump, feminism would outshine misogyny in chicness? Certainly not Trumpio (or even Melania, for that matter). And yet, “men” who still care about boning (as opposed to screens and the non-tactile nudity contained therein) are all too aware and maybe even shrewd enough to know that they’re going to catch more bitches with feminism than chauvinism. Hence, the fake feminist “male.”

He doesn’t secretly hate women, per se, but he definitely doesn’t give a fuck about truly executing the tenets of feminism, which is to say, “the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.” It’s more like the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of not getting yelled at for being a dickhead and occasionally getting laid. Hence, the “men” of impure motives who attended the Women’s March.

In truth, the best way for a “man” to be a “feminist” is to not constantly tout that he is. Just fucking be one without making it part of an agenda laden primarily with the fear that a group of women are going to stone you for not acting right.

Men Who Don’t See the Term “Men’s Activism” As An Oxymoron.

It isn’t just a certain Republican presidential nominee that has revived an interest in “men’s” activism. It’s that, for a particular sect of faux penis possessors, women have gone too far (see: Beyoncé), provoking a not so understated backlash that has left, in its wake, an absurd desire for women to, in essence, “be quiet” and stop looking and being so goddamn superior.

Some "rights" "men's" activists are keen on

Some “rights” “men’s” activists are keen on

The steady build of “men’s” activism, which developed in the 1970s out of the fear that the feminist movement of the 60s was getting, well, out of hand–which just means a woman preferred to use her hand for other things besides cooking and manual stimulation of a non-existent dick–has only increased over time as a response to “men’s” natural panic at no longer being subjectively viewed as the “better,” more powerful sex. But the incongruity–the sheer oxymoron–of the movement and term is circumcised by one simple fact: women have never subjugated “men.” Instead, they have let them believe, all this time, that they have even a modicum of control, letting them be free–even with their derogatory “activism.” A feminist, on the flip side, is merely an advocate of equality, not oppression. Though, in the current epoch, it feels as though feminism’s definition is becoming dangerously muddled with misandry’s. Which, if “men’s” activists aren’t careful, will win out in the end.