Men Who Distance Themselves When You Start to Show Emotion.

There’s never been much room in general for emotions in a “man’s” wheelhouse. But now, more than ever, it seems that those falsely advertising a penis are incapable of handling it when a woman begins to start showing too much sentimentality¬†or attachment.

What's the big deal?

What’s the big deal?

The slightest hint of a tear, the faintest expression of being too into it–and you’re done, written off for a psycho like the rest of them. This is why subterfuge, suppression and damn near silence is the unfortunate game a female must play at to prevent the stock reaction of a “man” distancing himself upon detecting vulnerability. And yet, maybe it’s best to go out with a bang (both literal and figurative), letting your face melt off with emotion. If he stays, maybe he’s got a dick–that, or dull¬†senses.

Men Who Are Unable to Satisfactorily Deal With a Woman Crying.

Seeing someone cry is one of the most uncomfortable and awkward visions for any gender to witness. However, “men” have a stronger predilection for fucking it up when it comes to making attempts at consolation. They either say something to make it worse or simply try to pretend it’s not happening. And even though Williamsburg is working ever harder toward the complete stamping out of emotions of its residents, there are steps you can take to react in a non-Patrick Bateman way.

All you have to do is acknowledge that the crying is happening and pretend to give even a smidgen of a shit

All you have to do is acknowledge that the crying is happening and pretend to give even a smidgen of a shit


For those of you lacking in the dick area, the satisfactory response to a woman crying–especially if you caused it–is to not do the following: 1) pat her shoulder in a condescending manner 2) ever use the cliche “there, there” 3) accuse her of being an overreacting pussy (this will result in her not giving you any) 4) infer that she’s on her period and 5) suggest you “spend some time apart.” If you can avoid these five things, you might have a chance at a wang.