Men Who Bring An Inflatable Doll From Their Bachelor Party to the 9/11 Memorial.

It’s ill-advised in general to bring one’s inflatable blow-up doll to any public venue, but this lack of decorum is compounded when the venue in question is, well, the 9/11 Memorial. And yet, that’s exactly what a gaggle of British “men” (the daintiest of the gender, followed closely by the French) decided would be best to do following a stag party.

Snapping selfies (also an extremely dickless act on any “man’s” part, as selfie-taking is, quite frankly, reserved for women as an act of aesthetic empowerment) with the unclothed vinyl woman, the quartet of blunderers laughed and gooned it up without a care in the world. When police intervened (the first amendment only goes so far in America), the groom/leader of the group shrugged, “Relax, it’s just a bachelor party.” And Britain wonders why we felt the need to bounce from that country.

Men Who Dupe You Into Thinking They’re Hot With Their British Accent, But Then You Turn Round And They Be Hella Ugly.

In addition to Williamsburg being the hub of dickless “men,” it is also the hub of dickless European “men” (is there any other kind of European “man,” really?), particularly British ones. Like the riddle of the Sphinx, no one can quite decipher how these “men” have enough money to live in waterfront condos–perhaps it’s purely by virtue of being British.

What the average British "man" looks like when you turn around to see them after hearing their alluring accent

What the average British “man” looks like when you turn around to see them after hearing their alluring accent


In any case, there’s nothing worse than when a British “man” announces himself vocally without first inducting his face into your view. Because then, even if his aesthetic is porcine or lizard-like (which it invariably will be), you won’t be falsely seduced into a certain idea of how he will look when you turn around only to find that his visage has broken your heart as quickly as his accent made it swell.