Like its cousin St. Patrick’s Day, Cinco de Mayo holds a special allure to frat boy types inhabiting Condoburg (the new Murray Hill). While each holiday promotes drinking to a blackout state, Cinco de Mayo is a bit harrier in terms of the offense “men” can cause.

Drinking Corona is the extent of a “man’s” knowledge of Cinco de Mayo

You see, if we’re being honest, it’s primarily white males who enjoy “celebrating” these “holidays.” And since Irish people are white, it’s a bit less bristling when the average “man” chooses to adopt the event as his own. With Cinco de Mayo, however, things start to get a bit trickier. When a “man” dons a sombrero and drinks Corona and/or margaritas to “honor” what most people assume is Mexico’s Independence Day, but is actually a date that commemorates the Mexican army triumphing over Frenchies at the Battle of Puebla (a place where Cinco de Mayo has a legitimate right to be celebrated), it just automatically comes across as plain dickless.