And fluid takes a human form in “men” who wear belly chains. Currently trending in the world of “men’s” jewelry and fashion is this emblem of being a 90s woman or early 00s era Christina Aguilera. No one knows how or why “men” suddenly decided they wanted to graft sartorial inspiration from women, especially considering how much they seem to despise them in every other regard, but one can trace its most blatant recent origins to 2017, with “men” all in a frenzy (I will not make the pun “gaga” to reference the perpetual infantile state of “man”–especially since Lady Gaga further ruined the use of that word) over “male” rompers a.k.a. romphim. From there, it was only going to be a quick ride into the territory of belly chains.

The appropriation–yes, use of the term is warranted–of belly chains ultimately by Western white women from Indian history does not need to be appropriated by white “men” as well. In Trump’s America, there’s only room for one gender of the Caucasian persuasion to steal blatantly from another culture and it damn sure shouldn’t be anyone sporting what amounts to little better than a protruding clitoris. Of course, no “man” can adhere to rules either written or unspoken, so here we are with the belly chains of “men’s” pale blanco stomachs shoved up in our faces as our heads are forced down to where life does not begin so much as ends in tears (of sperm) and all at once you just want to gag yourself with the chain at the same time as the cum runs down your throat. All the while, he’s looking for an award for his accessorizing brilliance and you’re just over here like: