“Men” are capable of a lot of fucked up shit, granted. But perhaps the worst crime of all they can’t go to jail for is regarding a woman as though she’s Sally Hawkins in The Shape of Water–simply not there. They’ll go to great lengths to get their sexual “taste,” so to speak. But once they’ve achieved their end game (mainly, regular dick sucking without giving head in return), it’s just a matter of time before they’ll reach their expiration date on wanting to continue dabbling physically with you, let alone talk to you. Isn’t that just so interesting though? That after all that sweet finesse your tongue and mouth lent to his so-called appendage (which incidentally has more feeling in it than the contents of his mind–and therefore the outpour of his emotions–ever will), it’s like you don’t even exist anymore. Like you’re as irrelevant to him as Paris Hilton imitating Kim Kardashian for Yeezy Season 6.

If only “men” could be forced to gag on their own cum every time they saw (in any form, whether in person or on social media) the very woman who gagged on his, so as to give him his goddamned prized pleasure. It wasn’t prized enough, however, to warrant actually showing her the decency to, if not actually stick around, then at least not treat her like the prostitute he cheated on his wife with in Vegas every time he sees her in a public space. Because, as you well know, New York ain’t the big city everyone makes it out to be after you’ve sucked enough dick, weird colors, caps, widths and all.