It was one thing to concede the near period-like rosé to “men” (usually of the gay variety, which is ironic considering pink is the ultimate color signifying pussy–and you know they don’t like that), but now they want the next level in what should be the official representation of what it means to be white girl wasted. That’s right, “men” of Williamsburg and beyond are laying claim to what ought to be a decidedly feminine right. It wasn’t enough for them to have infinite access to all manner of light beers, from Michelob to Coors.

No, they want it all, in life and in alcohol, and they’re not afraid of how they look doing it. Because, yes, truth be told, even the most clichely masculine of “men”–wearing lumberjack attire and wielding an ax, etc.–couldn’t manage to look like they had a dick whilst sipping from a dainty glass filled with rose-toned slush. To make matters worse, frosé can and will cause brain freeze, especially to the untrained and novice drinker. It was already bad enough you can’t even fuck a “straight man,” but now you can’t even feign an intelligent conversation with them while their already pea-sized brain is frosé’d. What’s next, they want to start drinking the blood clot toddy in the winter, too?