Possibly the most distinguishing factor about New York isn’t the bagels, the pizza or the pervasive stench of trash. It’s that, for whatever reason, “men” feel extremely comfortable with singing in public–whether on the sidewalks, on the train or while they’re standing in line waiting for the food and drinks they can’t afford. It doesn’t necessarily have to do with a desire to express happiness or “be discovered” as it might have in the old days of New York when people still actually had talent to be unearthed, so much as the intense need to be noticed by someone–anyone. And that person, unfortunately, is going to be you.

Though you’ve lived in New York for longer than most people ought to while still not risking coming within in an inch of your irrevocable insanity, you still haven’t learned how to tune out the vexatious sound of “men” who sing along with whatever is on their headphones or, worst of all, rap along. Who knows what it is about this “concrete bunghole where dreams are made up” that leads “men” to feel so comfortable with putting their vocal inabilities on blast ad nauseum. All that can be said is that if their bedroom moans sound half as grating, you might want to invest in an array of earplugs for engaging with “men” both in outside and inside environs.