It’s not often that a woman of a high-functioning, mind-exiting caliber is liable to attempt going on the wagon, not in this town anyway. But when she does make the extra occasional effort to purge, as they of a religious or bulimic nature might say, it’s only cruel for a “man” to try to cajole her into staying off the wagon so that she might never realize just how unattractive and bad in bed he is.

While, yes, no one is half as much fun, entertaining or even more prone to embarrass themselves than you are when they’re sober, it doesn’t mean you ought to steer them off the path of momentary righteousness just so you can feel better about your own antics. And yes, “men” are chock full of antics when they’ve moved from mother’s bottle to the liquor bottle. Chief among them being impotence, verbal abuse and unwanted commentary about how physically appealing other girls are. So even though you might get a hair bored while waiting for the woman in your life to inevitably succumb to the taste of the only thing in this world that works as a truly effective numbing agent, it’s better to let her on the wagon needs run their course. Because, honestly, haven’t you already led her astray enough as it is in getting her to lower her standards in being with you?