Men Who Wear Rompers.

Well, all right. It’s foul enough when women wear rompers. Especially the twiggish ones trying to channel that whole Lolita thing. At least fat women wearing them are sort of endearing. In any case, the point is, in the gender-discriminating world that is Missing a Dick, it used to be that “men” could at least evade dicklessness by not donning a romper. Now, all of that has changed, and it’s just one more thing to add to the list of disappointments both emotional and sartorial that “men” inflict.

At this rate, one would almost prefer the gender neutrality and shapelessness of clothing from Oak. But no, an army of romper-wearing “males” will inevitably be seen on every corner of Williamsburg this summer. Probably wearing fucking matching ones with their own babies. And those without children will simply employ it as their work uniform on the way to the VICE building.

Plus, not only is it stealing a fashion trend from women and making it somehow less inconvenient for themselves (just like everything else already is) by adding a zipper to the front for easy bathroom going, but it’s also yet another way to suggest not so subtly a permanent clinging to childhood, to this desire “men” have to remain on their mother’s tit forever. But, you ain’t gettin’ no bottle from this bitch other than the one I bludgeon you over the head with when I see you wearing a romper.

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