Men Who Cushion.

How many ways are there to express to a woman that you couldn’t give one fuck two fuck red fuck blue fuck about her? Well, if you’re keeping track, feel free to add the word “cushioning” to your list, as it’s the latest way to describe what is now the acceptable mode of infidelity in the twenty-first century: “keeping your options open” a.k.a. philandering with multiple people in case you get bored of the “main” one. But who can be “main” when you’ve got your tentacles (though certainly not a tentacle that can be considered large enough to be your dick) on varying broads?

Cushioning is considered somehow a less serious offense in the column of inconstancy because it is simply deemed a way to set something up for later in the back of a “man’s” mind, even if he’s also sticking his panisse up the back of multiple women at the same time. A “man” can also maintain a friendly rapport with a woman he knows and considers worthy of taking into his inevitably shoddy bedroom (probably Banksy-themed no doubt) at some point when he’s bored with the current roster.

So, yes, add the word cushion to the very long list of synonyms for it and being an asshole incapable of commitment to any one thing or person: back burner, playing it by ear, etc. And while you’re at it, sit the void where your dick is down on a pin cushion filled with more pricks than you’ll ever have.

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