The “man” who wears rings in general is typically not to be trusted. Or, worse, if he isn’t wearing one, he’s probably concealing the fact that he’s married. And yet, the “man” continuing to feign bachelorhood isn’t half as bad as the multiple ring wearer, or worse, the “man” who just wears a pinkie ring.

What does a pinkie ring say? Well, usually one of three things: “I’m involved in Long Island, Staten Island or New Jersey-based organized crime,” “I’m extremely hairy and have made my money in some sort of sleazoid fashion” or “I will be going to the strip club and doing cocaine tonight.” At the bare minimum, however, a “man” with a pinkie ring should splurge for genuine white gold or gold. Because the words “-tone” or -“plated” attached to the aforementioned mean a further unattachment to a puh-neese (or, panisse).