Who would have thought that in the era of Trump, feminism would outshine misogyny in chicness? Certainly not Trumpio (or even Melania, for that matter). And yet, “men” who still care about boning (as opposed to screens and the non-tactile nudity contained therein) are all too aware and maybe even shrewd enough to know that they’re going to catch more bitches with feminism than chauvinism. Hence, the fake feminist “male.”

He doesn’t secretly hate women, per se, but he definitely doesn’t give a fuck about truly executing the tenets of feminism, which is to say, “the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.” It’s more like the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of not getting yelled at for being a dickhead and occasionally getting laid. Hence, the “men” of impure motives who attended the Women’s March.

In truth, the best way for a “man” to be a “feminist” is to not constantly tout that he is. Just fucking be one without making it part of an agenda laden primarily with the fear that a group of women are going to stone you for not acting right.