These days, “men” and women alike are judged by how they curate their Instagram profiles. The importance of alluring potential romance stalkers is thus diminished tenfold if your simulated life shows any signs of being, shall we say, “less than.” While some “men” of the Williamsburg ilk might believe it’s “sophisticated” to favor the Moon, Willow or Inkwell filters, there really is nothing less so. Except maybe having a dark room that only gets used for skeevy Terry Richardson purposes.

Just because you take a shitty picture of the Williamsburg Waterfront and “mask” its commonness with a black and white filter doesn’t mean it’s actually good or that anyone is going to be taken in by your faux pretentiousness. And believe me, the only thing worse than real pretentiousness is faux pretentiousness. Furthermore, showcasing one’s “sensitive” side via the B&W pic is only going be an affront to any food photos a “man” might take (women are highly tantalized by food, you know)–and what is worse than an image of bad food? An image of delectable comida without all its richness of color. So should you find yourself trolling a “man’s” Instagram profile only to find it’s heavy with the black and white, you best switch to a more dickful username to gander at.