One supposes every “man” has their fetish or “thing” in the bedroom, but, ultimately, rough trade or ass penetration seems relatively bearable in comparison to dealing with the “man” who gets off most effectively by splooging on your face. Not only insulting (though, yes, at least it’s supposed to be rejuvenating to the skin), it’s also extremely PTSD-inducing. Like you’re literally expecting a cannonball to shoot you in the face every time you wait for him to cum.

As with many “men,” it all plays into the psychology of how they view women. Generally speaking, the “man” who wants to spray a woman in the mug to both demean her and mark his territory probably hates his mother somewhere deep down. To be sure, most sexual fetishes trace back to something a “man’s” mother did in his youth. It’s all very foul–almost as foul as toweling off your face from the presence of a sack of semen. If we wanted a facial, we’d go to the fucking med spa.