Men Who Say “I’m Sorry”–As Though It’s Going To Make Up For Thousands of Years of Wreckage and Disappointment.

There’s been much talk and delight of late over an “ad” in Williamsburg that says simply, “I’m sorry -Men”. It’s supposed to be very cute, very tongue in cheek and all that jazz, and, indeed, many a woman has been taken in by its charms. But the truth is, taking out a public ad to say “I’m sorry” on behalf of all “men” everywhere is just so very them–as if two words can negate all the wrong they’ve done these past few thousand years, starting with not thanking Eve for giving them their damn ribs. Shit, did anyone ever think that maybe if she was shown a little bit more gratitude she might not have bit that apple to get the fuck away from Adam?

But no, “men” want to hide behind the guise of “adorableness” to shirk the core issue at hand: they’ve caused too much wreckage both personally and globally to women to warrant forgiveness. If they truly wanted to make amends for being fuckers, they would offer financial restitution to everyone with a vagina (in the vein of Mariah’s inconvenience fee) and surrender all public offices to celebrities’ female personal assistants. Justin Bieber has asked us, “Is it too late now to say sorry?” and the answer is, of course, a resounding yes. It’s not too late to take down that slap in the face of an ad though.

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