Though there is nothing worse than a “man” still deeply enmeshed with his parents past the age of eighteen–shit, even sixteen–it is sometimes equally as disturbing and disconcerting when a “man” feels inclined to start sentences with “My dad…” Usually, the type of “man” who does this is one with a rich father–which always means that he secretly wants to surpass him in success and stature.

And while the reason for his constantly feeling the need to say “My dad this” and “My dad that” latently stems from a place of hate rather than love, he won’t learn this until Papa Dearest finally kicks the bucket and he can at last be free to be his own “man” (albeit with the inheritance he didn’t work for), except by then it will be too late as he’ll be lodged in that seemingly ever-permanent state known as arrested development. So it goes he’ll probably still be opening every sentence with “My dad…” when trying to pick up a woman who would much prefer to give an orphan a chance.