If you’re one of the many women who can’t help but let “men” fuck you as a form of validation (we can’t all be as high and mighty as Carrie Bradshaw in the Season Two episode “They Shoot Single People, Don’t They?” when she walks away from that guy who almost takes her back to her apartment), then surely you’re aware of the feeling of being completely empty after quote unquote letting a “man” fill you.

And sure, after the first few times of doing it with the same person, you think, “Maybe it’s me.” But no, it’s not. It’s more than likely the “man” you’re trying to steadily fuck treating you one way in the boudoir and another after he’s cum. It’s all sweetness and metaphorical roses to get you into the bed–gone kaput once he’s extracted his pleasure from your willing body. While a deflated sense of self can be a constant for North Brooklyn residents, you don’t need to add to it with this trend in so-called casual boning. Because, as we all know, nothing is ever really casual to a woman, no matter what she says. Even if the “man” doesn’t have meaning, the event and associated sentiment does.