Hey, so are you ever, like, sitting there making an omelette for some “man” and, like, planning your life around him as though you’re some sort of 1950s ninny and then it hits you–this “guy” don’t give a fuck about whether we stay together or not? No? Well, then you’re probably under 27 with a Tinder account.

But for those who have invested a mound of time in a single person with the distinct belief in mind that, maybe, just maybe, they’re equally as concerned with your future together as you are, you’ll probably understand feeling like you’ve just been mowed down by a Hummer when you learn that the “man” of your so-called dreams is perfectly fine with existing sans toi.

In keeping with adhering to the worst cliche about themselves, “men” have a unique talent for consistently proving just how disposable they think you are. And, as a result, you will be left with your own, much larger dick in the wind by trying to accommodate their whims and desires instead of your own. So don’t let the trajectory of your life get ruined by kowtowing to a “man” who gives you some yarn about wanting to “maybe” pursue a shared life together. ‘Cause before you know it, you’re day old bread and he’s making up a new version of what happened between y’all to make himself feel better about wasting the prime of your youth.