Sometimes, I truly do yearn to be a “man,” if for no other reason than to live my life in service of defying the most notorious cliche about the gender: that they will always leave. Whether it’s a father abandoning his child for another woman or, maybe even worse, for careerist reasons, or a boyfriend/husband who simply gets bored with the lack of novelty a woman’s body and/or personality has to offer, the “man,” without fail, consistently flees the scene.

He might do it in a somewhat “courteous” manner by actually informing the woman in his life, however, more than likely, it will be a Houdini-inspired disappearance. One minute, he’s there, and the next, gone. Some like to chalk it up to the “biology” argument, using the cave “man” mentality still engraved in the DNA of the modern “man” to insist that this is what propels them toward a nomadic, “hunter-gatherer” existence.

In truth, the only excuse for leaving is weakness. Monogamy is a battlefield that picks “men” off like flies.