There is a difference between wanting something so badly you’ll do anything to get it and merely being an outright simp. That line has been toed by a certain “man” who agreed to pay $450 a month for a windowless hovel in Williamsburg. Rather than live for free in the public bathroom at McCarren Park, which essentially offers the same ambience, and probably far more space than a forty-square-foot cubbyhole, this “man” has decided to throw away $450 to sleep standing up. At this rate, homelessness truly seems like a more viable and reasonably priced option.

The worst part is, now that the “man” in question has put his living quarters above a music venue on blast, he’ll probably be evicted for violating some sort of rental code. But then again, maybe his desire for fame as a musician is better suited to the ends of giving an interview to The New York Times about his living situation, which, if nothing else, can be parlayed into another shittatay Williamsburg-based reality TV show.