Considering Jesus Christ is probably one of the most dickful “men” in history, the bloke deserves a fair amount of reverence when having his iconography handled. But alas, a one hundred-year-old statue at a South 3rd Street rectory was not given its due delicacy when a drunk “man” decided to high five it and give it a kiss.

While perhaps somewhere deep down, this “man’s” intentions were pure, as he was overcome with a feeling of worshipful appreciation, feelings rarely count when they’re expressed either drunkenly or violently–and, in this case, both factors were at play. Though religion may not have any place in a town like Williamsburg, is it still too much for a church to ask to keep Jesus safe from harm? The “man” died for your sins so that your dickless self could keep sinning without remorse (hence, statue breaking) for fuck’s sake.