It’s not just you who has noticed a certain pussy-like trait in the millennial “male.” Now you have science on your side to prove that, yes, every “man” age 18-34 is a fragile little daisy, inept at most things, particularly functioning and having a job (HSP is, of course, a symptom of all this). And, worst of all, he’s “significantly weaker” than his father, which is only a further boon to his sensitivity and frivolous motivations.

As Missing a Dick has expressed in the past, there are some “men” so tormented by living in the shadow of their patriarch, they will even go so far as to only get a Father’s Day gift to prove they’ve surpassed their old man. But what’s most concerning about this weakness in “men” is that it isn’t just emotional, it’s physical. Literally weak. “The research, published… found that the hands and arms of men aged from 20 to 34 were less strong than those of men measured 30 years ago.” Though this might seem unbelievable considering how much masturbation and video game playing goes on in the current era, the emotional is an extension of the physical. So maybe if all these “men” in the millennial demographic weren’t so damned faint-hearted and worried about impressing their daddies when they never fucking will, we would be dealing with fewer puny “penises.”