“Men” do a great many things to disappoint women. But usually, on the bright side, it’s things that they’re at least aware of. However, not in the case of a certain overzealous sperm donor by the name of Ari Nagel, who has donated his seed to enough women to have produced twenty-two children, some of which could be learning French in Williamsburg right at this very moment.

While, theoretically, it’s all very “noble” and “generous” for an “educated” “man” to contribute back to society in this way, the act is rendered immediately skeevy when it comes to one’s attention that Nagel’s wife had no idea of the extent to which he was being so charitable. Indeed, it seems as though Nagel quite literally gets off on the spreading of his seed in secret–the illicitness of it all contributing to his orgasm. But sooner or later, the well is going to run dry, and then what will he be able to offer his wife other than a framed picture of the New York Post cover story he was on?