It seems, for whatever reason, that there remains a best kept secret about women. If you pursue them, they will eventually succumb to your “charms.” That is, unless of course, you really are quite disgusting. All we want to know for sure, is that you’re willing to put up the fight it takes to prove an ability to sustain prolonged contact and intimacy.

However, it is often the case that a “man” will weasel his way into your good graces, then your heart, only to convince you that, holy shit, this could really last–could really be the thing they’re always talking about in movies and books from the nineteenth century. The thing baby boomers seemed so capable of procuring: long-term monogamy. And then, out of nowhere (it could happen months or years from when you’ve convinced yourself the love is solid gold), the average “man” will prove average inconstancy, abandoning you for either another girl, another city or another life altogether.

You, on the other hand, will be left to wonder, “Why did you kiss me?” Don’t start something you can’t finish, motherfucker.