There are a number of words in the English language that conjure some rather grotesque imagery. Ones that I shan’t get into as the one we’re about to discuss is foul enough. That word, ladies and “men” pretending to have dicks, is “wipe.” As you probably already know, the popularity of wipes has not only proven that more adults want to regress, but also that the sewer system is incapable of handling every asshole’s shit.

It’s a wonder “men” still don’t need their mothers to wipe their arses

“Men” who feel compelled to use wipes are not only dainty, and therefore vile, but also, simply put, trying to revert back to their infancy–a time when their mothers wiped their ass and they didn’t have to worry about much of anything, least of all impressing a woman that didn’t birth them. And so, you might say that “men” seeking a constant supply of wipes are also, in turn, trying to wipe away their “man”hood altogether.