There are a lot of ways into a certain kind of woman’s heart. One of them is, now, apparently, pretending to care about International Women’s Day–which is almost as bad as flagrantly mocking the very concept of it. Although one might ask, “Why would a ‘man’ ‘pretend’ to care about something so important when he should just actually care about it?” Well, because he’s the type of “man” to use a cause to his advantage–like “men” who troll other people’s female family members on Thanksgiving.

The type of quote “men” use to lure vulnerable women on March 8th

He sees an opportunity to appeal to a woman’s psyche, which as any “man” should know, is the way into her pussy–they both start with “p,” it’s sort of mnemonic. He memorizes a few facts, paraphrases a few quotes and, blammo, International Women’s Day has magically transformed into International Men’s Day (which is every day, but technically reserved for November 19th) once he gets her to leave the bar. And then, of course, after he’s had his way with her, he’ll passive aggressively mention how no one ever posts thoughtful memes (is that an oxymoron?) about International Men’s Day and maybe gender equality would be a little more feasible if women weren’t trying to “be” “men.” And that’s when the woman who was conned will put on her “I Got Hot Sauce In My Bag” shirt, leave his condo and never tell any of her fellow “feminist” friends what she fell for: a “man” who cares about “women’s causes” that isn’t Kurt Cobain.