Men Who Get Drunk Enough To Leave the Door to Their Apartment Open & Get Robbed.

The “men” of Williamsburg have very little responsibility to take on in order to function in their day to day. All they have to do is get up, grab a coffee from Blue Bottle or Konditori (or some other establishment touting baristas that eat out the coffee beans before grinding them) and then go to an office space modeled after WeWork where they make money for marketing inanities like a new app that tells you where you can buy second skin-like condoms.

A room "men" end up at some point when they pass out in their apartments

A room “men” end up at some point when they pass out in their apartments

And so, really, his sole job of existence is to not black out in his own apartment, thereby inviting any novice-level intruder the opportunity to rob him. 1) What does this “man” do to allow him the liberality of a work schedule that enables him to both live on Meserole and party till the break of dawn, then not wake up until three in the afternoon, go back to sleep and wait until seven at night to report it? 2) Any truly worthy resident of Williamsburg and vicinity should meet the materialism prerequisite that would incline him to either not give a fuck about losing his possessions (and also save a lot of embarrassment by reporting the theft to the police) or awaken immediately from his drunken stupor after sensing that his beloved belongings were being robbed.

 

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