Let’s be honest: the overt metaphor behind a “man” who prefers cake without icing is that he can’t handle eating out a full bush. Maybe you don’t want to see the obviousness of this symbolism, but it’s there. With this in mind, a new bakery called Luckybird Bakery (that’s inconveniently located near Dun-Well Donuts for anyone trying to stave off a third ass cheek) specializes in making “no icing” cakes. The gall.

Naked as a jaybird

Not only is it utterly inane to create a cake without icing (which is precisely why everyone hates Bundt cake), but a “man” who seeks out this level of specialty in the type of confections he will consume is clearly too dainty to be fucked with. Moreover, if his taste buds prefer something with this level of dryness, it’s quite apparent that he’ll have no idea what to do with a wet pussy.