It’s pretty much Freud 101 that any “man” overtly fixated on a dick tends either 1) not to have a very large one or 2) is probably lusting after another “man.” The transparency of this psychology, however, did not stop one Williamsburg Christmas reveler from decorating his apartment window–a penthouse, mind you–with multi-colored lights fashioned into a dick shape.

What 65 Ainslie Street looks like under normal, non-Christmas decorated conditions

This dick shape is also six feet in length–a.k.a. this “man” fucking wishes. By putting his desired penis size on blast to the entire neighborhood, the Williamsburg denizen is not only infecting everyone with his damaged self-esteem, but also tainting Christmas the way your mother warned you New York would taint your sexual purity. Though it is fairly dickless of everyone else to get so up in arms about it–it’s just a giant wang for fuck’s sake.