Now that the phenomenon of “man”spreading has died down, it’s time to focus on a new subway annoyance prevalent on the L train. While it’s quite encouraging to see “men” read, even when it’s something from the canon of James Patterson, the allure they possess in presenting themselves as literate is automatically nullified when they sit in a manner resembling the positioning of someone cozying up on an easy chair next to a fireplace.
What’s worse is that they seem to be so engrossed in their banal title (or, if they’re on their phone, probably some sort of game), that they can’t even pick up on the enraged vibes of those around them lusting after the spare seat they’ve taken up with their overpriced shoes from DNA Footwear. But then, when one can’t even feel his dick, it’s no wonder he can’t feel anyone else’s ire either.
You forgot to mention the short socks.